1 00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:03,169 Hi Everyone 2 00:00:03,169 --> 00:00:05,640 So I'm the son of immigrants both my 3 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:08,781 parents are from Sri Lanka, so when I was in high- 4 00:00:08,781 --> 00:00:13,200 school I had no idea what I was doing I had a guidance counselor and I had 5 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:17,560 friends who had older siblings who told me all of their advice but at the end of 6 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:21,530 the day I didn't really know what I was doing when I was applying to schools. 7 00:00:21,530 --> 00:00:22,530 So, 8 00:00:22,530 --> 00:00:26,010 I applied to a bunch of schools and I knew most likely that if I got into UVA 9 00:00:26,010 --> 00:00:30,730 I'd probably come here because I'm from Virginia and it made sense and so when I 10 00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:34,300 got my acceptance letter I didn't look at any other schools I didn't visit any 11 00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:38,149 other schools really I just committed. 12 00:00:38,149 --> 00:00:40,149 And it would have been really scary had 13 00:00:40,149 --> 00:00:45,519 it not been for the fact that I knew if I came to UVA I'd be here with one of 14 00:00:45,519 --> 00:00:50,179 the best friends I've ever had his name was John Paul Popovich and we 15 00:00:50,179 --> 00:00:53,549 grew up together we known each other since we were like 11-years-old we did 16 00:00:53,549 --> 00:00:58,139 everything together and when we both got into UVA we knew we 17 00:00:58,139 --> 00:00:59,389 just had to be roommates. 18 00:00:59,389 --> 00:01:01,920 I just we had to do it we were gonna come here and do 19 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:05,360 the college thing you know everything you see and the movies and more maybe 20 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:09,829 not everything you see in the movies, but we were gonna come here and we're gonna 21 00:01:09,829 --> 00:01:12,870 live out our lives we're gonna have a fantastic time so we were super excited 22 00:01:12,870 --> 00:01:18,580 and that's what we did we came here to UVA that first semester and I had the 23 00:01:18,580 --> 00:01:24,270 best semester of my life I was focusing on grades and having a great time but 24 00:01:24,270 --> 00:01:27,829 let me tell you a little bit about JP and why we got along so well so in high 25 00:01:27,829 --> 00:01:31,590 school I was more of a reserved kid I didn't talk as much and I would hang out 26 00:01:31,590 --> 00:01:36,159 with people but JP is the one who really always brought me out of my shell he was 27 00:01:36,159 --> 00:01:40,710 a happy-go-lucky energetic always positive kind of kid who was so ready to 28 00:01:40,710 --> 00:01:45,229 face the world in any challenges that brought before him and he always dragged 29 00:01:45,229 --> 00:01:48,799 me along on whatever adventures he was going through so that's why we 30 00:01:48,799 --> 00:01:52,630 approached college any night I was sitting in my room doing chemistry 31 00:01:52,630 --> 00:01:56,750 homework, hating my life, he would drag me out to go play basketball with friends 32 00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:59,979 or go hang out in the quad or do whatever we had to do and it was 33 00:01:59,979 --> 00:02:03,170 fantastic and so that semester I was having the time of 34 00:02:03,170 --> 00:02:07,759 my life I was joining clubs and playing sports and making friends with my Hall 35 00:02:07,759 --> 00:02:11,430 and everything I did here I had my best friend by my side so nothing could go 36 00:02:11,430 --> 00:02:12,670 wrong. 37 00:02:12,670 --> 00:02:16,210 And there were so many moments when I would think to myself there's no 38 00:02:16,210 --> 00:02:19,989 reason this kid should be this excited about what he's doing right now okay. 39 00:02:19,989 --> 00:02:20,989 So, 40 00:02:20,989 --> 00:02:24,500 for example, he took Arabic intro to Arabic his first year his first semester 41 00:02:24,500 --> 00:02:27,780 and he'd never spoken a lick of Arabic in his life he could barely speak any 42 00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:33,440 other language English for that matter but that being said he took Arabic and 43 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:36,040 he would go in the mornings he'd be studying and he'd say Rehan have a 44 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:39,280 quiz today and I said okay good luck he'd come back to the room later that 45 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:42,310 afternoon with the biggest smile on his face and I said, "oh the quiz went great 46 00:02:42,310 --> 00:02:43,310 right?" 47 00:02:43,310 --> 00:02:46,810 he's like I absolutely failed that a hundred percent I failed that quiz but 48 00:02:46,810 --> 00:02:49,799 he was so excited because he was passionate about and he was excited to 49 00:02:49,799 --> 00:02:53,830 be trying something new and that's what I loved about it so we went through the 50 00:02:53,830 --> 00:02:58,489 semester we had a fantastic time and he was always a very lucky kid we get to 51 00:02:58,489 --> 00:03:02,720 finals our first semester here and he got to go home a whole four days earlier 52 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:06,720 than me I was stuck here waiting for that chem exam on the last day and he 53 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:10,730 went home and I remembered that day I texted him I was at the library 54 00:03:10,730 --> 00:03:13,079 studying he was headed home I said "make sure you lock the door," because he always 55 00:03:13,079 --> 00:03:15,849 forgot to lock the door and we didn't really talk after that because I knew 56 00:03:15,849 --> 00:03:18,700 I'd see him when we got home we'd go visit all our high school friends or 57 00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:22,512 whatever we had to do and so I went about the rest of my days at school 58 00:03:22,512 --> 00:03:26,180 knowing JP was at home and I finished my exams my dad came to pick me up that 59 00:03:26,180 --> 00:03:30,000 last day I was exhausted we packed up the car filled it with all the laundry I 60 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:34,200 could possibly put in there and we drove home and on the drive home it was late 61 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:38,549 at night so I fell asleep and we got back to my driveway I woke up as we were 62 00:03:38,549 --> 00:03:41,739 pulling in and I checked my phone as I always do and I had a bunch of missed 63 00:03:41,739 --> 00:03:45,670 messages but I also had a missed call from a four three four number and I was 64 00:03:45,670 --> 00:03:49,469 like okay that's Charlottesville's area code you should probably call this back 65 00:03:49,469 --> 00:03:54,810 so I called the number back and the voice at the other end says hello Rehan 66 00:03:54,810 --> 00:03:59,060 this is Dean Groves and I'm thinking there I'm sitting there like oh my god 67 00:03:59,060 --> 00:04:05,579 I'm in so much trouble what did we do but what Dean Groves actually called to 68 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,989 tell me was he said Rehan I need you to go find your family I need you to sit 69 00:04:08,989 --> 00:04:15,170 down your roommate has passed away and I didn't know what to say to them I had no 70 00:04:15,170 --> 00:04:19,320 idea how that could be possible that seen him three days before then and 71 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:23,980 he said your roommate passed away in his family's home last night and I wanted to 72 00:04:23,980 --> 00:04:27,940 make sure you knew first before we sent an email out to the rest of your hall 73 00:04:27,940 --> 00:04:32,410 and the rest of the university community so I immediately called JP's parents and 74 00:04:32,410 --> 00:04:37,460 I went over to their house and they told me that he had just never woken up that 75 00:04:37,460 --> 00:04:42,150 morning so I'll be honest with you guys he had epilepsy his whole life and it 76 00:04:42,150 --> 00:04:45,060 was something we knew about it was something that was under control for our 77 00:04:45,060 --> 00:04:49,140 entire childhood when he was at school I made sure he took his meds every morning 78 00:04:49,140 --> 00:04:53,220 and he was great he was the fittest kid you'd ever see he was a state champion 79 00:04:53,220 --> 00:04:58,880 swimmer he was fantastically fit and again happy-go-lucky all the time and at 80 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:02,180 that point I realize he hadn't had an episode for almost two years if I could 81 00:05:02,180 --> 00:05:05,980 remember properly but sometimes life gets to you and there's nothing you can 82 00:05:05,980 --> 00:05:07,660 really do about that. 83 00:05:07,660 --> 00:05:11,090 And so that winter break was probably the hardest month of 84 00:05:11,090 --> 00:05:16,040 my life I was sitting at home, friends were coming over and I just didn't want 85 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:19,570 to talk to you when I told my parents over and over again I'm not going back 86 00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:24,030 to school I can't go back there the home I built for myself there is dependent on 87 00:05:24,030 --> 00:05:27,290 me being there with John Paul so I'm not going back I'm going to take a semester 88 00:05:27,290 --> 00:05:30,890 off and then I'll transfer out when my parents said okay whatever you need to 89 00:05:30,890 --> 00:05:31,890 do. 90 00:05:31,890 --> 00:05:35,810 So, we go through the whole month I go to JP's funeral I speak there for a bit 91 00:05:35,810 --> 00:05:40,020 or I try to and we get through the end of the month we get to the day before I 92 00:05:40,020 --> 00:05:44,090 have to decide if I'm coming back for the spring term and my dad sits me down 93 00:05:44,090 --> 00:05:48,420 and he says, "Rehan look who talked to your mom we've talked to everyone and 94 00:05:48,420 --> 00:05:52,160 you're going back to school we're not giving you a choice," and I got to a huge 95 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:54,990 blowout fight with my dad I thought he was doing the worst thing in the world 96 00:05:54,990 --> 00:05:58,740 he could possibly do to me but it was probably the best thing he ever did for 97 00:05:58,740 --> 00:06:02,460 me but he packed my bag for me he threw all my junk in the car and he dragged me 98 00:06:02,460 --> 00:06:09,260 back to school and so I came back to my bedroom that I used to share with John 99 00:06:09,260 --> 00:06:12,990 Paul and obviously Dean Groves and everyone offered me the chance to switch 100 00:06:12,990 --> 00:06:16,090 rooms, but I didn't take it because I didn't want to be that new kid on a hall 101 00:06:16,090 --> 00:06:20,290 who had to explain why I moved but it was kind of a catch-22 because I 102 00:06:20,290 --> 00:06:23,710 realized that I couldn't sleep in that room anymore I couldn't share that space 103 00:06:23,710 --> 00:06:29,450 with someone I used to love and now I couldn't be in that space and so 104 00:06:29,450 --> 00:06:33,250 that semester I shut down I shut myself off from everything because the person who 105 00:06:33,250 --> 00:06:36,630 brought me to this school to get me out into the world was gone now so I 106 00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:40,020 immediately went back into my shell I stopped going to my classes I started 107 00:06:40,020 --> 00:06:44,750 failing them I stopped hanging out with my friends I quit all my clubs and I 108 00:06:44,750 --> 00:06:47,160 would do the bare minimum. 109 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,120 When I could go to class and try to pay attention I 110 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:55,410 would but that was really it and so that semester I quit on UVA. 111 00:06:55,410 --> 00:06:59,640 I started filling out applications to transfer right away, but the reason I am 112 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:02,381 here four years later and the reason that I love Charlottesville and I love 113 00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:07,700 this school it's because even though I quit on UVA, it never quit on me. 114 00:07:07,700 --> 00:07:08,700 At that 115 00:07:08,700 --> 00:07:11,690 point I had gotten very used to this this idea that people would come up to 116 00:07:11,690 --> 00:07:15,110 me all the time and they'd say Rehan I heard your story I'm so sorry for your 117 00:07:15,110 --> 00:07:16,110 loss. 118 00:07:16,110 --> 00:07:17,110 People did that all the time at home 119 00:07:17,110 --> 00:07:19,770 people did it in Charlottesville still it happened everywhere I went and I was 120 00:07:19,770 --> 00:07:22,940 sick and tired of it because what does that do for me that doesn't bring back 121 00:07:22,940 --> 00:07:28,120 my best friend but the difference is here at UVA that's not where it stopped 122 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:32,000 kids would have come up to me random strangers who I'd never met in my life 123 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:35,280 who had heard my story people who could go about their daily lives completely 124 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:39,020 indifferent to the fact that I was going through something incredibly hard would 125 00:07:39,020 --> 00:07:42,280 come up to me and say Rehan I'm so sorry for your loss but you know what let's go 126 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:45,510 grab dinner on the corner tonight, let's go to a basketball game together, why 127 00:07:45,510 --> 00:07:49,250 don't we take this class together next semester, oh, let's go join this club and 128 00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:52,770 I realized that something very strange was happening here right because there's 129 00:07:52,770 --> 00:07:57,330 no reason they should have been doing this, but what I realized was this was 130 00:07:57,330 --> 00:08:01,460 just another way JP was reaching out to me this was how he was pushing me into 131 00:08:01,460 --> 00:08:05,500 this community once again and so I realized I had to give it a shot I had 132 00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:10,320 to embrace my best friend's legacy one more time and throw myself into 133 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:14,000 this community and that's what I did and that's how I found my home over again so 134 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,940 I did twice here I joined a bunch of clubs I started going to classes I 135 00:08:16,940 --> 00:08:20,120 started meeting friends that I'll have for the rest of my life I became a 136 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:23,070 resident advisor that semester because I wanted to give back to the first-years 137 00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:26,010 were trying to find their home here again I started giving tours last 138 00:08:26,010 --> 00:08:31,010 semester even though I was super old to do that because I love meeting people 139 00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:33,719 and showing them that this is a place that matters and this is a place that's 140 00:08:33,719 --> 00:08:38,229 home because of the people that exist here so, yes, we have fantastic academics 141 00:08:38,229 --> 00:08:41,839 and we have incredible sports and the school is a phenomenal place to be 142 00:08:41,839 --> 00:08:45,339 and it's super beautiful, but what matters here is the people and 143 00:08:45,339 --> 00:08:48,550 that is why I'm so insistent that this is a place where you do build those 144 00:08:48,550 --> 00:08:53,560 bridges so every day I find myself getting up in the morning and yes I'm 145 00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:56,750 way more outgoing than I used to be and I can thank JP a lot for that, but every 146 00:08:56,750 --> 00:09:01,310 day there are some moments where I realize I should push myself this time 147 00:09:01,310 --> 00:09:04,730 and JP would always say this cliché thing he would say he would say life 148 00:09:04,730 --> 00:09:08,939 begins at the edge of your comfort zone right and I said JP go stitch that on a 149 00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:16,480 pillow but every day when I find myself having to force myself to do something 150 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:19,689 that pushes me out of my comfort zone like this for example 151 00:09:19,689 --> 00:09:24,379 I think of JP and he pushes me forward so just keep swimming and thank you guys.