Hi Everyone
So I'm the son of immigrants both my
parents are from Sri Lanka, so when I was in high-
school I had no idea what I was doing I had a guidance counselor and I had
friends who had older siblings who told me all of their advice but at the end of
the day I didn't really know what I was doing when I was applying to schools.
So,
I applied to a bunch of schools and I knew most likely that if I got into UVA
I'd probably come here because I'm from Virginia and it made sense and so when I
got my acceptance letter I didn't look at any other schools I didn't visit any
other schools really I just committed.
And it would have been really scary had
it not been for the fact that I knew if I came to UVA I'd be here with one of
the best friends I've ever had his name was John Paul Popovich and we
grew up together we known each other since we were like 11-years-old we did
everything together and when we both got into UVA we knew we
just had to be roommates.
I just we had to do it we were gonna come here and do
the college thing you know everything you see and the movies and more maybe
not everything you see in the movies, but we were gonna come here and we're gonna
live out our lives we're gonna have a fantastic time so we were super excited
and that's what we did we came here to UVA that first semester and I had the
best semester of my life I was focusing on grades and having a great time but
let me tell you a little bit about JP and why we got along so well so in high
school I was more of a reserved kid I didn't talk as much and I would hang out
with people but JP is the one who really always brought me out of my shell he was
a happy-go-lucky energetic always positive kind of kid who was so ready to
face the world in any challenges that brought before him and he always dragged
me along on whatever adventures he was going through so that's why we
approached college any night I was sitting in my room doing chemistry
homework, hating my life, he would drag me out to go play basketball with friends
or go hang out in the quad or do whatever we had to do and it was
fantastic and so that semester I was having the time of
my life I was joining clubs and playing sports and making friends with my Hall
and everything I did here I had my best friend by my side so nothing could go
wrong.
And there were so many moments when I would think to myself there's no
reason this kid should be this excited about what he's doing right now okay.
So,
for example, he took Arabic intro to Arabic his first year his first semester
and he'd never spoken a lick of Arabic in his life he could barely speak any
other language English for that matter but that being said he took Arabic and
he would go in the mornings he'd be studying and he'd say Rehan have a
quiz today and I said okay good luck he'd come back to the room later that
afternoon with the biggest smile on his face and I said, "oh the quiz went great
right?"
he's like I absolutely failed that a hundred percent I failed that quiz but
he was so excited because he was passionate about and he was excited to
be trying something new and that's what I loved about it so we went through the
semester we had a fantastic time and he was always a very lucky kid we get to
finals our first semester here and he got to go home a whole four days earlier
than me I was stuck here waiting for that chem exam on the last day and he
went home and I remembered that day I texted him I was at the library
studying he was headed home I said "make sure you lock the door," because he always
forgot to lock the door and we didn't really talk after that because I knew
I'd see him when we got home we'd go visit all our high school friends or
whatever we had to do and so I went about the rest of my days at school
knowing JP was at home and I finished my exams my dad came to pick me up that
last day I was exhausted we packed up the car filled it with all the laundry I
could possibly put in there and we drove home and on the drive home it was late
at night so I fell asleep and we got back to my driveway I woke up as we were
pulling in and I checked my phone as I always do and I had a bunch of missed
messages but I also had a missed call from a four three four number and I was
like okay that's Charlottesville's area code you should probably call this back
so I called the number back and the voice at the other end says hello Rehan
this is Dean Groves and I'm thinking there I'm sitting there like oh my god
I'm in so much trouble what did we do but what Dean Groves actually called to
tell me was he said Rehan I need you to go find your family I need you to sit
down your roommate has passed away and I didn't know what to say to them I had no
idea how that could be possible that seen him three days before then and
he said your roommate passed away in his family's home last night and I wanted to
make sure you knew first before we sent an email out to the rest of your hall
and the rest of the university community so I immediately called JP's parents and
I went over to their house and they told me that he had just never woken up that
morning so I'll be honest with you guys he had epilepsy his whole life and it
was something we knew about it was something that was under control for our
entire childhood when he was at school I made sure he took his meds every morning
and he was great he was the fittest kid you'd ever see he was a state champion
swimmer he was fantastically fit and again happy-go-lucky all the time and at
that point I realize he hadn't had an episode for almost two years if I could
remember properly but sometimes life gets to you and there's nothing you can
really do about that.
And so that winter break was probably the hardest month of
my life I was sitting at home, friends were coming over and I just didn't want
to talk to you when I told my parents over and over again I'm not going back
to school I can't go back there the home I built for myself there is dependent on
me being there with John Paul so I'm not going back I'm going to take a semester
off and then I'll transfer out when my parents said okay whatever you need to
do.
So, we go through the whole month I go to JP's funeral I speak there for a bit
or I try to and we get through the end of the month we get to the day before I
have to decide if I'm coming back for the spring term and my dad sits me down
and he says, "Rehan look who talked to your mom we've talked to everyone and
you're going back to school we're not giving you a choice," and I got to a huge
blowout fight with my dad I thought he was doing the worst thing in the world
he could possibly do to me but it was probably the best thing he ever did for
me but he packed my bag for me he threw all my junk in the car and he dragged me
back to school and so I came back to my bedroom that I used to share with John
Paul and obviously Dean Groves and everyone offered me the chance to switch
rooms, but I didn't take it because I didn't want to be that new kid on a hall
who had to explain why I moved but it was kind of a catch-22 because I
realized that I couldn't sleep in that room anymore I couldn't share that space
with someone I used to love and now I couldn't be in that space and so
that semester I shut down I shut myself off from everything because the person who
brought me to this school to get me out into the world was gone now so I
immediately went back into my shell I stopped going to my classes I started
failing them I stopped hanging out with my friends I quit all my clubs and I
would do the bare minimum.
When I could go to class and try to pay attention I
would but that was really it and so that semester I quit on UVA.
I started filling out applications to transfer right away, but the reason I am
here four years later and the reason that I love Charlottesville and I love
this school it's because even though I quit on UVA, it never quit on me.
At that
point I had gotten very used to this this idea that people would come up to
me all the time and they'd say Rehan I heard your story I'm so sorry for your
loss.
People did that all the time at home
people did it in Charlottesville still it happened everywhere I went and I was
sick and tired of it because what does that do for me that doesn't bring back
my best friend but the difference is here at UVA that's not where it stopped
kids would have come up to me random strangers who I'd never met in my life
who had heard my story people who could go about their daily lives completely
indifferent to the fact that I was going through something incredibly hard would
come up to me and say Rehan I'm so sorry for your loss but you know what let's go
grab dinner on the corner tonight, let's go to a basketball game together, why
don't we take this class together next semester, oh, let's go join this club and
I realized that something very strange was happening here right because there's
no reason they should have been doing this, but what I realized was this was
just another way JP was reaching out to me this was how he was pushing me into
this community once again and so I realized I had to give it a shot I had
to embrace my best friend's legacy one more time and throw myself into
this community and that's what I did and that's how I found my home over again so
I did twice here I joined a bunch of clubs I started going to classes I
started meeting friends that I'll have for the rest of my life I became a
resident advisor that semester because I wanted to give back to the first-years
were trying to find their home here again I started giving tours last
semester even though I was super old to do that because I love meeting people
and showing them that this is a place that matters and this is a place that's
home because of the people that exist here so, yes, we have fantastic academics
and we have incredible sports and the school is a phenomenal place to be
and it's super beautiful, but what matters here is the people and
that is why I'm so insistent that this is a place where you do build those
bridges so every day I find myself getting up in the morning and yes I'm
way more outgoing than I used to be and I can thank JP a lot for that, but every
day there are some moments where I realize I should push myself this time
and JP would always say this cliché thing he would say he would say life
begins at the edge of your comfort zone right and I said JP go stitch that on a
pillow but every day when I find myself having to force myself to do something
that pushes me out of my comfort zone like this for example
I think of JP and he pushes me forward so just keep swimming and thank you guys.