Missing your Wahoo student? You’re not alone

In August 2018, I was riding a wave of excitement and anticipation as we prepared to send our oldest daughter, Madeline, to the University of Virginia. My enthusiasm carried me all the way through move-in day, right up until it was time to say goodbye, and then my heart dropped.

I wasn’t ready for that part. And I definitely wasn’t ready for the emotional reaction that followed. Let’s just say that it took several days of tears and an alarming quantity of chocolate chip pancakes before I was finally able to reengage with the outside world. 

Our family group chat was a lifeline during that time. This long-running text thread continued as usual, no matter what was happening in real life. It provided a welcome constant during a time of change and helped bridge the distance between Charlottesville and our home in Stafford. 

“It made me feel like the rest of the family wasn’t that far away,” Madeline said.

Quick, informal and often hilarious, the chat kept communication flowing, allowing us to stay updated without making Madeline feel like she was being checked on all the time. I became adept at sending messages that only required an emoji as a response. When in doubt, I sent photos of our cat.

Alumna Jackie Brence, first row, middle, and her alumni husband preside over a Wahoo family. She’s learned how some small gestures can ease separation anxiety for both parents and students. (Contributed photos)

It wasn’t deep, but it was enough. As the weeks went by, I could tell that Madeline was doing just fine, and that helped me realize that I would be just fine, too.

Two years later, our daughter Jillian joined her sister at UVA in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic. She was excited to start her first year, but safety protocols made it difficult to connect with other students, and she felt overwhelmed and homesick. A visit was in order. 

We made plans to take her to brunch for her birthday in late September. The simple act of putting a date on the calendar gave her something to look forward to and boosted her spirits. Little did we know that we had just started a new family tradition – we now celebrate each of our kids’ birthdays by meeting for brunch. Midday Sunday is the perfect time to sit and catch up without interrupting sleep or other plans. And it doesn’t hurt that Charlottesville is a great brunch town. 

Birthday brunches are also great opportunities to gather college friends around the table and get to know them better.

“My good friends became part of our family, and that helped establish a feeling of home even at school,” Jillian said.

By the time we moved our son, Nathan, to UVA in 2024, we thought we had seen it all, but we had never experienced anything like the welcome he received as a new member of the Cavalier Marching Band. Finding his people right away enabled him to transition almost seamlessly into college life. 

Brence invented “birthday brunches” for her Wahoo students. The meals became a family tradition, a fun time to connect on Grounds and also an opportunity to meet her children’s friends and roommates. (Contributed photos)

“I never felt homesick when I started out at UVA, most likely because I was part of a tight-knit group of friends from Day 1,” he said.

The marching band is just one of hundreds of University clubs and organizations. Each club has a specific focus, but is also its own community, with most offering regular social gatherings and ongoing connection. Some even assign big brothers and big sisters to serve as mentors for new members.

By following their interests to various University clubs, our kids have made lasting friendships and developed their skills in activities ranging from swing dancing to a cappella to bridge (yes, college students actually play this).