She left Appalachia for Harvard. Her journey eventually led to UVA

“When I got involved with my church, my ambition didn’t disappear, but I couldn’t express it anymore, and I felt I shouldn’t have it,” Lacy said.

Lacy had always been a dedicated student. Even when money was tight at home, her mother made sure she had books to read, a hobby they shared. She excelled in school, eventually graduating as valedictorian.

But when Lacy was 14, her life began to change. She was walking from her high school to her mother’s elementary school when a senior began catcalling her from his friend’s car. At first, she thought she was the butt of a joke, but she came to appreciate the attention. She “started waving back, putting up whichever hand wasn’t carrying my Hello Kitty lunch box,” she wrote. 

Despite her parents’ disapproval, Lacy and the senior, Sam, started dating. Their relationship mostly consisted of walking to class together. Their relationship quickly turned dark. 

The two broke up after Sam admitted he had a crush on a girl who rode his bus, whom Lacy later discovered was 12.

They resumed their relationship after a few months and were engaged by the time Lacy was 16. She kept it a secret from her parents, who called Sam a “predator.”

 

 

 

 

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Their relationship was conducted mostly at weekly church services and youth groups. The two became fervently religious after being “lukewarm” and were baptized together. Sam, then 20 years old, began volunteering under a youth pastor. He took a job mentoring at-risk children.

Sam became increasingly controlling, giving Lacy the cold shoulder for days after she made a joke about cutting her hair short, discouraging her from pursuing a college degree, and cutting her off from her male friends. 

She believed she was supposed to want, as she wrote, “to fully submit,” and be as devoted to her husband-to-be as she was to God.

Two weeks before their scheduled wedding, Sam told Lacy he was under investigation for possession of child pornography after a 16-year-old girl texted him an explicit photo. Lacy was furious and in denial when Sam was arrested days later. The charges were ultimately dropped.

But while Sam was in jail, Lacy logged into his Facebook account and found dozens of conversations with underage girls, dating almost to the start of their relationship. The wedding was off, but Lacy struggled to return to her former self.

“I just felt so trapped by my hometown, and all the people that, for one reason or another, excused what Sam did. No matter where I turned, I couldn’t get away from the relationship or the past,” Lacy said.

She had been enrolled at a local community college and working at Subway when she decided to apply to a four-year university. Harvard accepted her as a sophomore transfer student, and her family moved her into her dorm. Boston, her coursework and the nagging feeling her professors and fellow students couldn’t understand her – sometimes literally – quickly overhelmed her.

“I didn’t feel like I was seen as a person,” Lacy said.

Lacy, who received her bachelor’s degree from Harvard, now works in Bryan Hall. She lives in Lovingston with her husband and young daughter. (Photo by Matt Riley, University Communications)

Isolated and depressed, she began going on dates with men she met on dating apps. One of the men slipped her $100 bill after a date. Lacy decided to trade sex for money. 

“I felt like my worth was reflected in a man’s perception of me. I was still so young and so close to those beliefs that I’d only recently left behind,” Lacy said. “I was searching for validation in relationships and got myself into some bad ones because I was desperate.”

Lacy struggled in her courses, nearly flunking out after a month. By the end of the semester, she had eked out a B average. 

Then a turning point: A boyfriend suggested she take a writing workshop with Michael Pollan. She followed the advice and began writing about her own life at Pollan’s encouragement. She graduated from Harvard in 2020, watching her graduation ceremony while working at a coffee shop in her hometown.

She decided to pursue a master’s degree in creative writing from Vanderbilt University. Four months after she moved to Nashville, her father died. She left the program and returned to Virginia before deciding to hike the Appalachian Trail, which she and her father had discussed doing.

“I wasn’t in school anymore, and I didn’t have a job, so I figured, why not go and live in the woods for a few months?” Lacy said.

She was hiking in Pennsylvania when she met her now-husband and moved to Lovingston. The two had a baby in January.

Her role at UVA is Lacy’s first “adult” job. She was working at a garden center in Waynesboro when she entered the temp pool and became former U.S. Poet Laureate and professor Rita Dove’s executive assistant. When the English department’s assistant administrator retired, Lacy took her place.

Lacy’s life now, she said, is “boring.” She goes to work, cares for her infant daughter and cobbles together enough time to work on her next book, about hiking the Appalachian Trail.

“I still think of Tazewell as one of the prettiest places I’ve ever seen. The people there can be very kind. Even though there are parts of my story that are negative, I’m grateful I grew up there,” she said.