Her sense of humor was “irreverent and wickedly funny,” Dawson said. Though she was mostly a music fan (with an affinity for REM, the Talking Heads and Elvis Costello, all acts PK German brought to Grounds), she also dabbled in songwriting herself. Dawson recalled a version of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” Stellmann once wrote, replacing the reindeer’s names with the names of boys she and her friends had crushes on.
But for Stellmann, her college crushes paled in comparison to the man she married, Pete Stellmann. Pete had known Dabney since childhood, having been friends with Dabney’s older brother. When she went back to their hometown near Baltimore on a break, Pete realized his friend’s kid sister had grown up and asked her out. The two went on a daylong date, but at the end of the evening, Dabney broke things off. She was moving to Washington, D.C., after graduation and wasn’t interested in a long-distance relationship.
Pete told her to let him know if she ever changed her mind and he’d get back together with her.
“I would’ve married her then,” he said.
Ten years later, she got back in touch with him. They married in 1997 and had two sons together, Ryan and John. Loved ones said she took to motherhood with the same love and thoughtfulness that was intrinsic to her nature.
Pete knew his wife was a talented artist. In addition to working as a graphic designer for the local TV news station, she also did portraits and other freelance projects. But he was unaware she had designed concert posters for some of music’s biggest names.
“She was so humble and so talented,” he said.
Though Stellmann roped her friends into PK German, she didn’t play up her role in the group. Her pitch to friends was they could see concerts without paying for tickets.
“You’d see Los Lobos and just serve beer,” Dawson said. “She pulled her friends into it in that way, but she was low-key about her talent.”
Her talents weren’t limited to the arts. Stellmann played on the women’s lacrosse team at UVA – “She was always very athletic and very artistic,” childhood friend Jorie Rice Cogguillo said – and she had a gift for making people feel like they mattered.
“We knew at the time that she was special,” Garst said.