How To Get Along After a Bruising Election

Political polarization has driven a wedge between Americans who need to reconnect with each other through shared experiences and learning to “disagree better,” New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy and Utah Gov. Spencer Cox told a Rotunda audience on Tuesday.

Murphy, a Democrat, and Cox, a Republican, were part of the latest installment of the Democracy Dialogue series, “How Americans Can Disagree Better,” sponsored by the University of Virginia’s Miller Center of Public Affairs and the Karsh Institute of Democracy. 

The National Governors Association sponsors the “Disagree Better” initiative, which includes both governors. The effort promotes healthy and productive disagreement “that allows us to find solutions and solve problems instead of endlessly bickering.”

“Disagreeing better is not finding common ground. It’s not compromising. It’s ‘he’s got his opinion, I’ve got mine,’ and as opposed to kicking each other in the shins, let’s have it out and figure out where the chips fall,” Murphy said. “It’s how we go at each other and disagree in a constructive, healthy way, as opposed to all the craziness that we see out there.”

‘Inside UVA’ A Podcast Hosted by Jim Ryan
‘Inside UVA’ A Podcast Hosted by Jim Ryan

UVA politics professors Mary Kate Cary and Jennifer Lawless moderated the discussion. UVA President Jim Ryan said the discussion is a “perfect example of why we started the democracy dialogues.”

“First, the series is a way to hold meaningful and productive conversations with those who have different points of view about issues facing democracy here and around the world,” Ryan said while introducing the governors. “Second, it’s a way to model for our students, and for all of us, how to have healthy and productive conversations across lines of difference, whether political or ideological.”

The governors stressed the necessity of bipartisan cooperation and the potential for positive change through shared experiences and understanding. 

Portrait of New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy, left, and Utah Gov. Spencer Cox on right

New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy, left, and Utah Gov. Spencer Cox were the guest speakers at Tuesday’s Democracy Dialogue, held in the Dome Room of the Rotunda. (Photo by Emily Faith Morgan, University Communications)

They agreed polarization has increased to the point where Americans are exhausted.

“We had a contentious election to where half the country felt like they needed to throw a brick through a window to get some attention, and the other half of the country felt like they just had a brick thrown through their window,” Cox said. “We are seeing real consequences in threats of violence toward elected representatives and judges across the country. And it’s happening at the local level as well. People are feeling this kind of animosity that is just growing. It’s incredibly unhealthy.”

Volunteering in the community, whether for nonprofits or serving on local governing boards, is one way to create better disagreement by getting people of differing views to know each other as individuals, they said.

Candid Portrait of President Jim Ryan

UVA President Jim Ryan says the Democracy Dialogue programs, sponsored by the Miller Center and Karsh Institute for Democracy, show the community “how to have healthy and productive conversations across lines of difference.” (Photo by Emily Faith Morgan, University Communications)

“There are lots of benefits that come from service again, including depolarization,” Cox said. “Many groups are popping up, not just on the service side, but on the depolarization side. Some of them are just happening organically, with student groups saying, ‘We’re really tired of what’s happening in our country.’”

“Service brings people together outside of their views, their politics,” Murphy said. “I think it cannot be underestimated as a positive element if you can disagree with someone and then go out and have dinner.”

Media Contact

Bryan McKenzie

Assistant Editor, UVA Today Office of University Communications