1 in 4 Young Men Are Lonely. UVA Researcher Explains Why and How To Help

A new Gallup survey found 25% of young American men between the ages of 15 and 35 said they felt lonely a lot the previous day. That is compared with 18% of females in the same age range, according to aggregated data collected from 2023 and 2024.

The 25% figure also stands in contrast to the median 15% of men reporting loneliness across 38 mostly higher-income, democratic countries, including the United Kingdom, France and Australia.

In January, a separate Pew Research Center survey showed little difference between reported levels of loneliness between men and women, with about 1 in 6 Americans – 16% – saying they felt lonely or isolated from those around them all or most of the time.

portrait of Joseph Allen

Allen says students who participate in Hoos Connected often report “it’s one of the most meaningful things they’ve done at UVA.” (University Communications photo)

“It’s interesting because you have two studies that are finding somewhat different things,” University of Virginia psychology professor Joseph Allen said. “I think probably the bigger picture is that young people are very lonely. We’ve just seen levels of loneliness skyrocket in the past 15 years really, but especially since COVID,” he said. 

“The effects of social media on young people are something people are actively debating and trying to understand,” Allen said. “What we know is they are interacting with each other less in person.”

Allen said it’s not surprising men report being more lonely than women in some surveys. “We know that in adulthood, men tend to have less strong social relationships, a smaller social network than women. And while the 25% loneliness figure in the Gallup survey is high, it’s almost certainly a real under-representation of how much loneliness is out there. Especially for males, to admit that you’re lonely is a pretty vulnerable thing to do,” Allen said.

Opening Up Is Healthy

The teen psychologist also pointed to the harmful masculine stereotype discouraging vulnerability. Embracing openness instead, he said, could help tremendously.

“One of the things we know is that sharing your uncertainties and doubts with a friend is one of the ways that you bond and that you realize … everybody has uncertainties and doubts,” Allen said, adding that sharing creates bonds. “If you’re going through your whole life needing to hide that … and you’re with other males who are saying, ‘I’m doing just fine,’ then it’s kind of lonely because you’re never sharing key parts of what you’re actually feeling.”

Tuition Covered For Virginia Households Making <$100K
Tuition Covered For Virginia Households Making <$100K

Being socially isolated is also bad for your health, as Allen has found. “We know from studies done with hundreds of thousands of individuals that (isolation) … is terrible not only for our mental health but for our physical health and that it’s actually a bigger risk factor for dying prematurely than things like cigarette smoking or heavy alcohol use,” he said.

Hoos Connected

In 2018, Allen, director of UVA’s Adolescence Research Lab, pioneered Hoos Connected, a program proven to reduce depression and loneliness among new college students.

Students gather weekly with older peer facilitators to get to know one another and create deep connections, sharing similarities and differences.

Since spring of 2019, Hoos Connected has been offered as a one-credit, pass-fail course marketed to first-year, second-year and transfer students. It’s been featured in the New York Times and has spread to Virginia Tech, Georgetown University and Penn State University.

A group of students taking a selfie at a Hoos Connected event on the Lawn in front of the UVA Rotunda

Sean Goodhart, left, and Youstina Sakhy, to his right, pose with UVA students on the Lawn after leading a Hoos Connected session. (Contributed photo)

Sean Goodhart, who graduated from UVA in May, said he can relate to the findings of the Gallup survey. 

“I can say, myself, that, ‘Yes, I experienced loneliness,’” Goodhart shared. “I heard my friends say sometimes, you know, ‘If dudes share their emotions, they‘re soft.’ Whenever you hear those things and you just start subconsciously suppressing your emotions, it gets really hard because … you kind of become a robot that way.”

Goodhart believes nothing can replace human interaction. He enrolled in Hoos Connected his first year and then trained to be a facilitator. He said there is “zero risk” in taking the course and thinks it should be mandatory for all first-year and transfer students.

“I had group members that probably would have never been friends if left to their own devices, just because they come from different backgrounds, have different experiences or were studying different things,” he said. 

His advice to new students is to sign up for Hoos Connected, come with an open mind “and smile whenever someone comes up to you, especially in session.”

Media Contact

Jane Kelly

University News Senior Associate Office of University Communications